Our hero had seen all the awesomeness that his beloved Genesis had to offer. The well was dry, and Sega’s 16-bit goliath was but a chapter in his nostalgic past. Our tragic hero shed a single manly tear, quietly resigned to his fate. But then, at the nadir of despair, an overlooked dark horse challenger appeared.

“Beasts!” he cried, but none heard his contemptuous words, for in this world he had become the beast and they were his keepers.

Kratos has been living on a mountain, killing cute rabbits for food. He comes down from the mountain to fight in a tournament, while the spectators vow to “fill their bellies with prize money” (???) and victory proclamations tell you that you “dripped 514 drops of sweat” (???).

“We can’t let it end like this. We won’t let it end like this. We’ll bring back the heroes of ages past to fight once more, and we’ll wage this war on their own ground.”

Sega Ages: Dynamite Deka screenshots:

“The life of a schoolgirl can sometimes feel like a battle — for love, for independence, and for self-respect in a world that often views women as breasts that speak.”

Ikki Tousen: Shining Dragon screenshots:

“If I believe, I can do anything. But I can’t do this.”

Ikki Tousen: Ikki Tochi! screenshots:

Ikki Tousen: Shining Dragon naughty screenshots: [...]